Creating a Community When You Can’t Find One

A few weeks ago, I found myself lost and without a community amidst the rising of racial tensions in the world, the U.S., in my State, and in the city I currently reside in. Living in a predominantly white area has played a nasty game with my anxiety as the talk of armed people showing up to peaceful protests, and then people from the opposing side showing up armed to protect themselves rang. Everyone is showing up brandishing guns and the divide continues to grow deeper as the days and weeks go on.

As a Black woman married to a white man, I have had to accept the reality that there are aspects to my identity my husband won’t ever 100% understand and that it is okay. That being said, it doesn’t necessarily make it easy when navigating all that is currently taking place in our world. And I knew that we weren’t alone in it.

I had a few friends who were (and are) also in interracial relationships reach out to me regarding their own struggles and we were able to empathize with one another. Just because you love your spouse that happens to be a different race doesn’t necessarily mean that marriage suddenly becomes easy flowing. It’s not easy flowing when you are of the same race and/or even religion, of course it’s not going to be easy when you live in a world that judges you and who you love based on the color of your skin. And unfortunately, marrying into a white family doesn’t suddenly cure people of their conscious and unconscious biases, no matter how much they love you and you love them.

I decided to take action and create a space where a small group of interracial couples could virtually meetup and talk about their worries, struggles, wins, and how they are doing in general, in the current political climate of our world. There is something to be said about belonging to a community of people that understand some of where you’re coming from and can truly listen, validate, and provide helpful resources to you. Personally, I believe in surrounding yourself with people that can validate and correct you when necessary, because you need both to be a little more well-rounded.

While social media can be a great tool for connecting with people from all over, it has also become an exhausting place for many, including myself. So, I find it vital to create other outlets where I can breathe and just be because sometimes that’s all I really want and need, especially when there is so much going on in the world.